yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
