There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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