id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
pop tarts are not kleenex
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Randomize
