Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
