I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
