well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
