Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
