And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
