I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
