Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
