stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
