I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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