Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
