i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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