I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
