I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
