i think my tv is drunk
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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