Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
