I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
