I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
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