planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
