Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
