She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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