I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
