I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
