brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
