If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize