I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
