grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize