if i can run in heels then i can drive
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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