..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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