Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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