And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
