I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So much rum. So many feels.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
