I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
