im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
i now understand why vodka
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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