Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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