Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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