East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
