Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
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