where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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