The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
