You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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