babies were throwing up all over the place
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
