In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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