ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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