I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
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I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
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The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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