I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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