I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
