My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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