you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize