At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
