U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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