No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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