Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize