Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
