Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
